Call centre conversations.....

[Briggsy]

Just had this mailed to me and thought I'd share it with you all. It's quite funny really and, believe it or not, they're true conversations!

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.

Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.

Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.

Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'

Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):

'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.

Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'

Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'

Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.

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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.

Customer: 'OK'.

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.

Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.

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Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'

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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.

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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: [male] 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: [Female ] 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power........ A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'

[Quadrant]

They're good! I like those.

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.

Would it wrong to say I have done this myself before?

[Moonman]

ahh the good old call center. My housemate works at a call center and boy, does his lazyness show it. He's fallen fould of the whole "call center culture" i.e; he's convinced himself he really is doing and amazing and rewarding job. Well, if monkeys could read scripts, they would be doing this.

Secondly, he's living life in total debt. He's got more debt than i can remember. He's lazy and he's basically a slob. He, like his job is dishonest, he lies and takes what basically isnt his. I'm not saying all call center workers are like this, but you have to look at the correlation here. Look at your average call center worker and how they live...Needless to say, i've made my feelings pretty clear about him.

I used to do IT in a call center (look after their computers) before i joined the police. The staff retention rate was unbelievable. None of the callers are ever happy and if you could see some of the gesticulation and moaning/p*** taking they do when they stick you on hold...well you'd never call one again. There aren't many "lifers" in this career - actually, isnt it just a job, not a career?, although my soon to be ex-housemate is certainly one of them, drifting through life aimlessly. I think the only highlight he gets from life is sleeping with the many numerous youngsters that tend to work at these places. Again, the way in which he ensnares said youngsters is probably dishonest.

I'd never work in one after seeing it first hand (sort of), the conditions are horrible and the management get a cobb on when there's 3 calls in que - its a sight to behold it really is! 3 calls in queue? what in a call center? naaaaaaa you're yanking my chain aint ya?

It really is the modern day cheese packing of jobs.

[Si_E_P]

well well i never thought i would see the day when someone would actually p*** me off on this board but that day has finally arrived. Yes I work in a call centre. Some of the points you made I agree with but some you clearly need to do your homework on. So a monkey would read the scripts, lol, obviously you havve no experience with the FSA and what they ask us to do. So what are you saying Moonman, that everyone is like your mate (or so called mate cause your doing a good job according to yourself in being a call centre worker and slagging him), no we aint. Get Bent

[Moonman]

hmmm, did i not say in my second paragraph (look with no edit either) THAT NOT ALL CALL CENTRE EMPLOYEES ARE LIKE THIS???? Some have customer service skills and patience of an angel and the sort i could only dream of having but...

I have had first hand experience of call center staff - not just the person i mentioned above. I worked in IT for an insurance company for 3 years. I am not mincing my words and i make no apologies for my comments either. If i'm a bastard so be it - i've been called a hell of a lot worse, i call it as i see it and tell the truth. I've seen first hand the call avoidance tactics, the unnecessary "Muting", the gesticulating to someone down the phone, the reading the newspaper at your desk while a policyholder is talking thus caller is being completely ignored, i know about people using the "Wrap up" button to get the the back of a call queue and an all round lazy attitude promising customers the world and not being bothered to follow up with an update on whats happening. Only then for that same policyholder to ring up again, furious and take it out on some poor sod who had nothing to do with the problem. Because matey boy who sold the policy has his commission, sure he may have mis-sold his policy but he got his commission and chances are, he'll never speak to that policyholder again and bear the brunt when policyholder tries to make a claim but cant, because his policy doesnt cover him like he thought. I had to dig out soooooooo many calls where this had happened, and probably 70% of the time, the customer was mis-sold the policy in line with FSA and company rulings.

Yes, this happens in my job too, but then, i dont make promises i can't keep or "fluff up" policies in order to sell them. Of the 60 call takers in the area i looked after, i would say only 10-15 were actually any good and did a good honest job, the sort i'd like to talk to about renewing my policy or whatever.

Again, you are making presumptions, i know about FSA guidelines, we all had training on it, EVEN THE I.T STAFF. It was one of the biggest changes to the insurance market i've known. Our IT systems had to fall in line with FSA guildelines and i had to help make that transition. 3-4 years ago whenever it was the FSA came about. Companies were going bust left right and centre trying adhere to FSA guidelines. So, i put it to you, i know more than you think i know.

And there is no real thought that goes into the job, i used to have to program the scripts, i know that calls are recorded and call takers are assessed accordingly to their reading of the script.

When i was doing IT at a big insurer i sometimes got to listen to some of the calls. And the amount of time i heard policy holders say to the caller "cheer up" or something along those lines. Now, to me thats not good customer service. If had an attitude like that in my job, i'd get in serious trouble.

People pay their policies and they deserve an honest, pleasant and polite customer service experience. Now, maybe you provide that, if you do, you're not in my band of merry-call-center-call takers. Which means you have patience and the thick skin that a good customer service advisor should have...What used to get my goat also, was managers moaning about calls in queue urging people call takers to just get the caller of the phone (decrease their CTA (Call time average) as quickly as possible in order to meet the PCA (Percentage calls answered - with a set time, usually 20 seconds) - Well i hate to break it to you, but you are i na call center - hello, this is where ALL the calls come.

Any of this sound familiar? So to recap, i obviously do know what i'm talking about, i would say it's fair to say i have completed my homework because i have had a behind the scenes experience in this field.

That said, it's a job, and it's money. But you can't deny it's not very well paid and you can't argue with staff retention levels which would indicate the type of job it is.

Anyway, i've said my piece, i'm now off to "get bent" wish me luck.

[Si_E_P]

agree with most points esp managers. I had to investigate someone regarding call dodging in the past as im a senior, they got the boot and i agree that there are some people who are like that. however I for one trained in underwriting to ensure good c/s so that the policies i set up are all to customer requirements. Its not a poorly paid job, things have changed from the dark ages of the past when people were on like 13k (luckily I wasnt in this position when i started).

As for high turnover well i think that has a lot to do with thick skin, if you cant do the job right and give good c/s then your bonus gets crippled big time, well it does where i work. some people lose 50% for being idiots. Call marking nowerdays is not down to saying everything on a script, its making sure the client got what they asked for and doing it right.

I was in banking when the fsa changover happened, there have been even more rules and regs put in since then and i know there were alot of changes and people went out of business, however I dont think a monkey could do the job. For a start there is underwriting which believe me is complex. That was what got my wick up. At the end of the day we are human beings, if you walk out of any job for a day and cant say you did your best then maybe you shouldnt do the job.

Ulimately I feel your comments on a monkey doing my job and it being a dishonest job andnot well paid are completely bang out of order, we shall agree to disagree but i know im right

[Judge Mental]

Bloody hell, listen to yourselves!

Don't mind callcentres when they actually help you, which they rarely do, and dont see why people get annoyed with cold calls, its great fun wasting their time, I've became quite inventive at it.

I actually love it when the phone rings during the day, and the 1st words are "helloo can I speak to Mr"

Edited April 17, 2008 by Judge Mental

[Quadrant]

Yay! First slight argument we've ever had on the board!

Although sirs, I think both of you have equally valid points. In my opinion the confusion is over the term "call centre".

What is a call centre?

1) A helpful company hotline set up purely to give advice and help customers

OR

2) A shady firm who hires few poor bastards on poor wages to work in booths and have to ring up random numbers to sell the public double glazing etc

We call them both call centres but in fact they are like chalk and cheese. This, sirs, is the heart of the argument because you are both arguing about different things.

*Quadrant gets back on his horse*

Edited April 17, 2008 by Quadrant

[Si_E_P]

I only take inbound calls mate. Still annoys the hell out of me when im catagorised and told a monkey can do my job.

[Quadrant]

That'll be option 1 then... I'm sure no-one has a problem with that sir!

[Briggsy]

I thought you had to be based in Delhi and not understand a word of English to work in a call centre these days?.......

[Moonman]

I only take inbound calls mate. Still annoys the hell out of me when im catagorised and told a monkey can do my job.

*If you are reffering to 1) A helpful company hotline set up purely to give advice and help customers - please press 1 on your keypad........now*

Hmmm, i used to read some of the claims being put through, some of them were pretty bad. To be fair, inbound is slightly different. I was more reffering to sales of policies and renewals (although they are inbound, sales type stuff tends to be scripted). Usually, inbound call centres have set question that need to be filled in. The very good advisors tend to end up on "call back teams" to get rid of any problems that have incurred during the first 48 hours. Oh dude, i said a monkey could do your job - this is the internet and i'm a keyboard warrior, i thought you were thick skinned? I've heard people insulted so badly on phones before the advisors were left with no option but to hang up. Admittedly, that must be a good feeling.

Insults dont bother me at all when i dont even know the person throwing them at me...

[Moonman]

It did make me laugh though when some of the advisors used to do what i dubbed "Call Centre Crunches"...basically they'd do some sort of adaptation of stomach crunches in a bid to fight the fat. It really was a sight to behold.

Call Centre Culture certainly is interesting with some interesting characters.