Briggsy

Production-wise, I think Marcel's tunes have gone a bit downhill over the last couple of years. Cherry Blossom and Advanced were superb, but since then, only Monotone and Lemon Tree have been any good - however, DJ'ing-wise, I think he's got better than he used to be - and he's also playing more of other DJ's work rather than playing his own tunes over-and-over again. I think the problems started with 'Advanced' - he got criticised a bit for being a bit too mainstream with that tune - so I think he's took that criticism on board, tried to change his sound a bit to go more 'underground', and its not really working for him. I think he should stick to what he does best - whether it be mainstream or underground. Critics get paid to be critics - so they'll always find something to moan about, so he should just do what works best for him.

I agree 110% mate. I commented on another board the other day that i'd heard Oakie at Global Gathering in 2006, and he played Fred Baker - Total Blackout and Thomas Bronzwaer - Constellation. I also saw him at Global in 2007, and again, he played Fred Baker - Total Blackout and Thomas Bronzwaer - Constellation + Grace - Not Over Yet. I saw him in Coventry in September 2007, and he played Thomas Bronzwaer - Constellation and Grace - Not Over Yet. I saw him at Turnmills in December, and guess what he played - Thomas Bronzwaer - Constellation. Oh, he also played Grace - Not Over Yet.... Its good to see his £8,000 DJ fee and his banquet feast rider (enough food to feed an army) is well deserved!

I think we should send that video to Paul Oakenfold, so that he can also learn what goes on when mixing Errr.... no its not, he's finding the first beat at the start of the record ready to cue up. I think Eddie Halliwell's job is safe for a bit longer yet....

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'. In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly , this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining ' ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Yeah, it p***es me off too - particularly when the tune was released months before its available in this country, but blocked from being sold because a UK label has signed it and dug their heels in for 6 months to release it. In my opinion, it just encourages illegal downloading, because if someone wants to buy a tune, but can't buy it because of download restrictions, then they'll just look elsewhere until they can find it - and that probably means p2p file sharing networks. Bring back vinyl - at least we could all buy imports then

A lorry transporting frozen cows to a large chain of butchers shops is travelling up the M1, when, all of a sudden, a tyre bursts and throws it across the carriageway. The driver can do nothing as the lorry topples over, and 200 frozen cows spill across the carriageway - which then holds up all the traffic. Everyone sits there patiently in their cars waiting for the police to arrive. The lorry driver explains to the police what happened, and they say that as it was caused by a flat tyre, they won't be taking any action against him - but inform him that he'l have to remain with them until the hurd of cows can be safely moved - which could take up to three hours. A woman driver overhears the conversation and say "Three hours? I can't wait that long - I need to be in Leeds within the next two hours." The police reply "well, we're really sorry, but its a long process - we'll have to drag each cow out of the way one-by-one - which will take time" The woman groans and says "Thats absolute nonsense - i'll shift them - leave it with me!"- so off she goes. She walks up to each cow, touches it with her finger, and somehow, it unfreezes, comes back to life, and walks away. The lory driver and police look on in amazement as she walks up to another and does exactly the same thing - touches it, unfreezes it, and find that it walks away. She manages to unfreeze all 200 cows - and the road is clear within half an hour. The Police say to her, "That is truly amazing - i've no idea how you did it, but that deserves an award. The Policeman says, "I need to arange for the award to be sent to you, so can I take your name please?" The woman says, "Sure, my name is............. Thora Hird..............

What do you call a Scotsman that works in a cloakroom? Angus McCoatup What do you call his Asian colleague? Mahat McCoat They get worse............. What do you call an Irishman that specialises in Doors, Windows and Conservatories? Paddy O'Door What do you call an Irish Sniper? Rick O'Shea Have you heard about the Irish gay couple? William Fitzpatrick & Patrick FitzWilliam What do you call a Welsh plumber? Dwayne Pype What do you call a woman that balances a pint on her head whilst playing Snooker? Beatrix Potter What do you call an Asian karaoke singer? Gettupta Singh What do you call a man with a bladder problem? I.P. Knightley Have you heard about the Asian stock car racer? His name is Sumjerk Ramedmacar What do you call the person that invented toilet paper? R.Swipe What do you call a bloke with a long neck? G.Raff What do you call a Russian Lesbian? Leyonya Bakyabich What do you call a West Indian fishermans wife? Wendy Boatcummzin What do you call a well known nudist Pakistani fire-eater? Sinjizz Pubezoff What do you call a Scottish female contortionist? Alik McHunt What do you call a woman that works for the Council water treatment depot? Sue Widgeworks What do you call the female receptionist of a Viagra supply company? Lola Bido What do yu call the customer that forgot to order his Viagra? Drew Peac**k What do you call a cross-eyed pornstar? Mister Completely What do you call a Russion with Bronchitis? Ivor Chestikov What do you call a a male art student? Drew Appic What do you call a male athlete? Paul Vault What do you call a female police officer? Laura Norda What do you call a Japanese car thief? Tommy Tukamota What do you call an Asian carpenter? Ahmed Ashed

A visitor to a mental institution asked the director how he decided which patients should be kept in. The director said "We fill up a bath, then offer the patient a teaspoon, teacup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub". Visitor says "Oh, I see, a normal person would choose the bucket, because its the biggest". The director says "No, a normal person would pull the f**king plug out! Would you like a bed near the window?" A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner but doesn't tell the kids what it is. He says he'll give them a clue - "It's what mummy calls me sometimes". The little girl screams "Don't eat it - its a f**king arsehole!

Well, I reckon we should make every Wednesday a 'worst joke Wednesday' - so post your really bad jokes in here.... Here's mine: Teacher walks into the headmasters office and says "I've just caught the 5th formers gambling!". Headmaster says "What were they doing?" Teacher says "They were seeing how far up the wall they could pee" Headmaster says "What did you do?" Teacher says "I hit the roof!" Headmaster says "Really?.. How much did you win?"

At first, I thought it was a chav driving down the road in his Subaru Imprezza with one of those humungous exhausts that they have - but I soon realised that those hit 7.4 in the Richter scale, whereas the rumble last night was more minor at 5.2 - so I knew then that it was only an earthquake and I didn't need to worry as much

I wonder if it knew who the second Will Atkinson was the other day

Glad to see I didn't imagine it http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7266136.stm

Bloody hell! Did anyone else feel the earthquake just now? My living room shook quick strongly for about 7 seconds, and then it continued with a gentle shake for about 15 seconds after that. We had one here about 4 years ago, which I felt then - but that was quite mild in comparison to this. I got quite nervous actually - it happened all of a sudden and made me jump out of my skin because I wasn't expecting it

I wonder who it could be?.....

Tonight see's the return of 'TheTranceArena Sessions' radio show (show number TTAS 004). From 7pm til 9pm GMT (UK Time) on www.Sense.FM, tune into the show to hear Lazarus from 7pm til 8pm, and then 8pm til 9pm with a guest mix from IAN BETTS - two hours of melodic Trance goodness! Tune in tonight from 7pm til 9pm GMT (UK Time) to hear Lazarus and Ian Betts with a 2 hour Trance show on www.Sense.fm Next week, Carl Briggs hosts the show, and brings you a more Tech-Trance orientated set - together with a guest mix from MARKUS SCHULZ! Spread the word ;-)

"Like pensioners on a bus, we're trippin'" "We're covering more fields than a tractor" (Creamfields 2002) "We're banging like the rabbits from Watership Down" "The tunes are phatter than John Prescott" "Creating more beats per minute than Tony Blair's ticker"

Good idea mate! I reckon that if this site is going to be the ultimate shrine to Jules, then it should cover everything - from Julesisms and tracklistings. I reckon Jules should send us all a copy of every tunes he owns too - so that we can bring back memories of Jules's good old tunage in our very own bedrooms

Here's Dave with a loyal follower from the Escape club - one that looks a bit like Matthew Kelly. "Tonight Matthew, i'm going to be Dave Pearce"

I can't comment too much because i've not been - but from what i've seen and heard, the agreement between Slinky and Elements was that Elements had to invest in a better sound system if Slinky were to take their business there.

I've listened to many Scousers, and never managed to work out a word of what they're saying. You've done well there lad, i'll give you that

Yeah, what defines a "cheesy" tune anyway? I wouldn't say ATB - 9pm was a cheesye tune. I'd say it was a commercial tune. A cheesy tune to me is something corny, poorly/cheaply produced with cringeworthy vocal that hits the big time for the wrong reasons - artists such as DJ Sammy, Scooter, etc Darude - Sandstorm, ATB - 9pm, etc - in my opinion, were just commercial. I personally feel there's a big difference between something cheesy and commercial. I wouldn't be afraid to play something commercial in my sets, but I wouldn't touch DJ Sammy, etc with a bargepole. I liked Sandstorm, and i'll still play the Signum remix of 9pm til I come now.

Yeah thats fair enough. There are two sides to Dave though - but most people just remember the one. The majority of his gigs are booked for his "Dance Anthems" reputation - so he sticks to playing anthems. When he's booked to do a "serious" set though, he can play some great unknown tunes. One thing I like about Dave is that he's disovered a lot of small unknown labels and artists over the years - Dave was the first DJ to support Silverblue - and since then, they've gone on to be supported by bigger DJ's. He also helped Agnelli & Nelson get to where they are today. In some ways, he's helped bring artists through by heavily supporting them - just as Jules has done with artists such as Michael Woods and Fabio Stein. Because Dave is "unfashionable" though, nobody notices the little things he does now and again. If It was PvD, Armin or Jules bringing those artists through, they'd get loads of praise for it. The DJ industry has always been fickle though.

I think even the serious clubber can like him too. I love my Trance and "serious" tunes - but Dabe is nice to listen to for something different. Sometimes I get tired of the A-listers all caning the same tunes over and over again for months - like Global Gathering last year when four sets all after each other contained "Through Your Eyes" by Guiseppe Ottaviani. Repetititon is annoying. At least Dave breaks that monotony. I agree entirely about Dave introducing people to dance music too. We've all found our way in through tkaing a shine to someone or by listening to a particular DJ. I found my way in through listening to Ferry Corsten - but then I found that I preferred the harder side of Trance - so I moved on to Jules - and more recently, Eddie and Marcel Woods too.

The thing is though, DJ'ing is Dave's main job now that he's not a Radio 1 regular. He never used to do that many gigs so close together. These chain clubs probably offer Dave a lower fee than he'd get elsewhere - but they're offering him, say, 10 gigs in a month. If he gets £1000 for each of them, thats £10,000 he's just earnt. Tiesto can earn that in one night. If the money is there, he's gonna take it - we all would. DJ'ing is a short career - they won't be doing that until they're 65 like we will be at our jobs - so they've gotta take it while its there. If they're lucky, they probably have 10-12 years at their "peak" where they can get so many gigs - before and after that, they're either building a name for themselves, or winding down their careers. Danny Rampling was a good example - as soon as he lost his Radio 1 show, that was basically the downfall of his career.

I had that impression of Eddie Halliwell to - but I had my photo with him at Godskitchen last week after his set because he hung around for about an hour afterwards. He had photo's with about 40 people, shook hands with them and spoke to them too - he's actually a very decent bloke. I've also heard people say the same about Jules - and Jules definately isn't like that. I heard someone call Jules a w***er last year at Godskitchen because Jules walked straight out through people without having his photo, etc - but what people forget is that they often have a gig straight afterwards and have to leave immediately. If they stop for one person, then they all expect it - so its easier to walk out. Thats whats happened with Eddie too because he did it last year and I thought he was arrogant then. People have to remember sometimes, if they're on early in the night, chances are, they've got another gig afterwards - so they're not being rude - they're just rushing to their next "job". I've actually heard that, outside his DJ'ing "image", he's actually quite shy.