Number2Fan Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 DOGS DIARY 7am: Oh boy, a walk............my favourite! 8am: Oh boy, dog food........my favourite! 9am: Oh boy, the kids.........my favourite! Noon:Oh boy, the garden....my favourite! 2pm: Oh boy, a car ride......my favourite! 3pm: Oh boy, the kids.........my favourite! 4pm: Oh boy, playing ball....my favourite! 6pm: Oh boy, welcome home Mum....my favourite! 7pm: Oh boy, welcome home Dad.....my favourite! 8pm: Oh boy, dog food.....my favourite! 9pm: Oh boy, tummy rubs on the couch.....my favourite! 11pm: Oh boy, sleeping in my people's bed.....my favourite! CATS DIARY Day 483 of my captivity.... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.....must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to strike fear into their hearts. They only coo-ed and condescended about what a good little cat I am. Hmmmm, that didn't go according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard my confinement was due to my powers of inducing 'allergies'. I must learn what this power is and how I may use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience. I can wait. It is only a matter of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quadrant Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 I couldn't be bothered to read that. But then again, I am lazy! I don't have any pets because they are vermin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number2Fan Posted May 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 ....and to think I actually missed you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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