Number2Fan Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 My Duck is Dead A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested.. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quadrant Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kml Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 I am saving for a duck house Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoundMan Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 hahaha class number 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spin Doctor Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 The first thing I though when I saw this thread title was 'Well what do you expect, you keep cats!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number2Fan Posted May 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 OMG CATS!! I was driving home from work tonight there were cats everywhere, it was like the film 'the birds' but with cats, I get home and see one at the side of the road, looked like it was fitting, so I think, great now I am gonna have the upset of seeing to an RTA cat and take it to the vet etc etc and my chips will get cold, anyway, stop the car, go to the cat to discover it's too cats having a bit of fruitiness. PHEW! Get home, four cats moving around my feet like sharks move, glance at the back door and five cats out there mooching!! I've been missing the little tabby tuxedo I see every morning though, I'm hoping she's been taken to be spayed, I hope so. Ah, hold on, I'm on the JJ board, not cat chat! Sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Kane Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 The weirdest scenario I used to face in a 'The Birds' kind of way was coming back from Godskitchen in the car very early on a saturday morning. One of my friends lives in a relatively quiet village so there is zero traffic on the road at that time but there are absolutely masses of pidgeons. Coming home at such an hour the pidgeons seemed to be out on their feet & would literally cluster so that the road was un-drivable, they wouldn't move at all & being a considerate kind of guy it's unthinkable to use the horn to shift em. Once we had to resort to one of our number getting out & running at them to get em to shift, either that or run them over Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number2Fan Posted May 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2009 I would have loved to have seen that happen!! It's cool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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