Briggsy Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 (edited) I just wondered if anyone on here has any experience of anti-depressants? I've been feeling rock bottom for a long time now, and i've avoided staying away from anti-depressants because i've heard so many mixed things about them - but I can't carry on the way I am at the moment. I feel rock bottom, and it feels like there's nothing to look forward to in life any more - nothing excites me. Whenever i'm out with people, I hardly speak - my mind is blank all the time and i've got no conversation at all. I just don't feel myself any more - I used to be quite happy and chirpy and i'd have a bit of a laugh - but thats all gone now and I don't even know why. I don't feel myself, and to be honest, it worries me a bit because it feels like i've lost control of myself. I can't explain it very well - but basically, i'm just doing things that are really out of character now, and I don't know why. I'm also usually as soft as s***, but at the moment, there's this really aggressive streak in me that is like a ticking time-bomb. I know someone will get on the wrong side of me soon and the aggressive streak will take over - and that worries me because its not me at all. I feel like i'm going round the bend to be honest - it feels like my mind has bene taken over and i've lost control of it. I don't know myself at the moment, and it scares the s*** out of me. Someone I know spent some time on anti-depresants, and they said they worked wonders for them and really sorted them out, but then someone else I knew said that they suffered really badly on them and had suicidal urges (that can be one of the side effects of anti-depressants). So, i'm in desperate need of some sort of pick-me-up, and need some help from someone that either been on them, or knows someone that has been on them - did they help, or did they make things worse? Edited December 21, 2008 by Briggsy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simcut Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 glad someone beat me to posting this...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSheehan Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Why dont you have a talk with your GP??? I'm sure there's different strains of Anti-Depressants out there that might suit your needs. I know it sounds cliche, but have you talked to anyone about your problems??? I find that really helps, and it also helps if you figure out what it is exactly, that is causing you to feel so down. Sometimes it can be a combination of things but in my experience it usually just boils down to one specific thing. I was depressed for years when I was younger, didnt have anything to look forward to and basically I just felt like I didnt wanna wake up every morning etc etc. Luckily that has all passed now with the help of an amazing ex girlfriend and family etc. I didnt resort to anti-depressants but I was very close. Things WILL get better for you though if you give it enough time. And as I said speak to people about your problems and try to narrow down what is really making you depressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number2Fan Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 (edited) I don't know why anybody has a problem with anti-depressants? Try them, if they work and benefits out weigh any side effects you MIGHT experience then use them. I have in the past tried some different ones, my faves were Prozac, they actually worked, I got up and had a spring in my step everyday. For years I had suffered, as a teenager in fact, and my dad had thrown away some things I was prescribed saying " you dont wanna bloody take those things" Even though I had just attempted to kill myself at 15!! I love my dad but what an idiot, he didn't know anything about the pills, about how I actually felt inside nor how I would feel for many many more years until I could get proper treatment for myself. Anyway, eventually they worked and I never had to take them forever, but even if I had to, it would have been better than wanting to be dead every minute that I was awake, having no joy from even the most happy occasions! I could go on, but I have to go out tonight, anyway, I just wanted to say, if you want to try them DO IT! if tjose ones aren't good enough try some others, try and ask for counselling too if you want, counselling can be hard to begin with but keep it up until it's not hard because only then are you on the mend!! You do not have to feel this way, it is an illness, I'm better now and I will never let myself go through that again!! I will go straight back to doctors and ask for those pills. I never had any time off work with it btw, not signed off anyway, I used to hide it mostly, it was hard to go to work but I think it helps to stay busy if you can! I wouldn't hide it now either, now I know what it is! You will feel good again one day, I FEEL GREAT NOW! Edited December 21, 2008 by Number 2 fan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Brown Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 (edited) I've been on anti-depressants several times in the past and they worked for me. I also went for counselling as you need to get to the root of the problem and talking to someone really helps. Its nothing to be ashamed of and in most cases people do benefit from talking to a counsellor. I found Prozac worked for me the first time but the second time l took it , it made me feel tired most of the time which isn't good so l took it at a different time of day (to what was recommended) and l was fine then. Its trial and error as what works for one person doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes you have to try other products which can have bad side effects but in the end l'm sure you will find something that suits you. I've been through some terrible times in the past but have put it all behind me now and l just concentrate on the present. Music has been my salvation as it really is a "pick me up" and has got me through the bad times. I'm very happy at the moment. Nothing stays the same forever so hopefully you can look forward to happier times. BTW you always come across as being a very confident person and your posts are always very informative and interesting. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so negative at the moment. Life is good, so try to be positive. Edited December 21, 2008 by Chrissie Brown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted December 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Thanks for the advice everyone. Very much appreciated. Number 2 fan - when I say some people have problems with anti-depressants - well, some of the side effects can be quite harsh - including suicidal thoughts BTW you always come across as being a very confident person and your posts are always very informative and interesting. I'm far from it Chrissie. I'm not confident at all - never have been, and never will be. I don't like the way I look, I don't like the way I am at times, and i'm very quiet around people when I first meet them. A lot of people have said they've thought i'm arrogant when they've first met me - but i'm far from arrogant - i'm just very reserved. I'm not shy - if people can get me talking, then i'm fine back - but I find it very hard to 'break the ice' and get a conversation going - and thats all down to poor confidence. I'm always the quiet one in a group. Even when I go clubbing, i'm not a dancer - i'll stand around by the side of the booth, nod my head, tap my foot or whatever, and just get into the music. Its easy for me to sit behind a computer screen and come across as confident I guess - but in 'real life', its so much harder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Firstly I'd see your GP as they might want to refer you to a psychiatrist for a full diagnosis if there appears to be a history of depression with yourself and your family. Usually you would be prescribed medication and then a full term care plan would be written which might include regular sessions with a CPN (a psychiatric nurse), regular meetings with your psychiatrist to asses the efficacy of any medication you're taking and make any adjustments etc. You might also want to discuss talking therapies which can include one on one psychotherapy or a group psychotherapy approach. Both are very good and benefit any medication you may be prescribed. Do not worry, you're not on your own with this and if you have to spend time in hospital, don't view it as a weakness. It's just a time for you to become stronger. Unfortunately prescribing medication for depression and other mental health conditions is not an exact science so it might take a while to find something that suits you at a dose with therapeutic effects. Stick with it though! The most common side effect with all these sorts of medicines is sedation, which under the current circumstances, would perhaps be a good thing. You will get used to feeling a bit 'out of it' but keep up with a good diet and take regular exercise. A 20 min brisk walk daily and a balanced diet (including a vit b complex supplement) will do wonders. Depression is a difficult thing to deal with but you have to try to keep things in perspective and remember the times when you didn't feel depressed. Use the time to get to know yourself better and if you don't like something, start to make small changes to deal with the things you don't like. Do it in a calm and controlled way. The more things you can do in a controlled fashion, the easier it will be to regain some of the control that you feel is currently not there. Try to remain sociable and give yourself a treat every time you've been out and felt ok about things. It might be an idea to do something that will boost your confidence such as taking a night class in something... personal development is an excellent way to feel good about yourself!!! Lastly, good luck dude. You're not alone and there is a light... you should feel proud of yourself that you can discuss what you have done. It's the first step to wellness!!! Peace to you bro! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Oh, I also forgot to mention to watch your alcohol, caffeine and processed foods intake too. If you insist on drinking caffeine, opt for green tea as the caffeine release is much smoother than that of black tea and coffee. Personally I'd not drink alcohol at all right now because of the effects it has, plus it really doesn't help sleep and the body's ability to self-heal! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number2Fan Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Well I did get some side effects with the prozac to begin with but also I got the side effects first and then I read the pack and went to GP to see what he thought. I worked in a hospital too att so I had a few people I could get a wee bit of advice from, which is good. Anyway, I stuck with it because I felt happy after many years of not being and the side efeects soon wore off. I gave up coffee though that helped and I don't drink alcohol much anyway. If you can keep a careful eye on yourself it's good, and I would say give them a try. I certainly saw them as some light at the end of the tunnel at last and so they almost worked instantly for me, even if the placebo kicks in first, as long as it works do it. At least you know you are depressed, when I first had it I didn't realise what it was and I steadily got worse in secret over a couple of years, now and again I would say to someone close and they say stuff like " shut up you miserable cow " that obviously didn't help, I too hated how I looked and how I was and it has to be said EVERYTHING in the end. Even the smallest thing like a shop being closed when I got there, or stubbing my toe FELT lik ethe end of the world as I thought "everything goes wrong for me" In fact Everything does go wrong for me, but now I don't feel that way about it, I can deal with it, because I am not depressed now. I have known a couple of people who have snubbed counselling and tablets and they are still feeling s***, and you can see it, but if they wont accept help and want to wallow in self pity, what can you do? I also know a friend who is at last leading the life of Riley because she took her pills. Her life isn't really any better but she feels like it is and it looks like it is, because she can feel happy. You can't knock it til you try. BTW if these people were depressed badly and took pills and then felt suicidal how do we know it was the pills and not depession. I already felt suicidal before I took anything, and I was ok on them. It's like most things, you always hear and remember the bad stories, not the thousands of people these tablets have helped. Just read aswell about processed food s agin on Robins post, that's true too, I actually wont eat processed foods, (not for the depression but it's worked for that)very very rarely I may eat a macdonalds chips but I gave up the other stuff to the point I have a slight OCD about food, but hey like I said, I feel great now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Brown Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 (edited) I agree with what Robin and No 2 Fan had to say and also about cutting out processed foods etc. I just don't eat processed foods and never buy pizzas, ready meals, or the like. Its probably about 20 yrs ago since l last ate a Macdonalds. I only drink a couple of cups of coffee a day which is decaffeinated coffee and l also go to fitness classes 2 or 3 times a week which is both good for the body and the mind. l rarely drink alcohol as it can make you feel depessed, and l find l enjoy myself far more without it. Also l try and smile as much as possible, people do respond to a smiling person. However l appreciate that if you are feeling really down then smiling is not something you want to do but do try smiling, it might help, its worth a try! Edited December 22, 2008 by Chrissie Brown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number2Fan Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 TBF I hadn't really linked the processed foods and depression until now, but I have often commented on how I ate ready meals and pot noodles and coca cola all thru my teenage years, I lived on it, I often blame sugar intakes for sharp downturns in mood but never really thought about the other food. Anyway, I wont eat these things now and maybe that's another reason I feel so much better! I had heard and read about super foods that you can eat to make yourself feel better though, I have looked into and thought about the subject of depression a great deal actually! I wish I could help you in an instant, but the truth is, you have to help yourself. Might sound a cliche but you have to take the first steps and let people do what they can do to help after that. It's hard to explain how bad depression really feels, how it affects everything, ALL the time, even when I know how it felt. I hate to think of anybody feeling that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonross46 Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 I had heard and read about super foods that you can eat to make yourself feel better though Chocolate, no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted December 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 I had heard and read about super foods that you can eat to make yourself feel better though Dust? Anybody?........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Brown Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 It's hard to explain how bad depression really feels, how it affects everything, ALL the time, even when I know how it felt. I hate to think of anybody feeling that way. Me too! I can still remember waking up each day and my stomach would be churning over and l would feel so despondent, l just wanted to go back to sleep again and try and blank everything out. Its an awful feeling but thankfully l haven't felt like that for the past 7 yrs now and hopefully l won't get so depressed and despondent ever again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted December 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Its weird - today i've been really chirpy and had a bit of a sense of humour on me again, which is the first time in months, but tomorrow it'll be back to feeling s*** again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Brown Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Its weird - today i've been really chirpy and had a bit of a sense of humour on me again, which is the first time in months, but tomorrow it'll be back to feeling s*** again. Don't be negative Briggsy as you may feel good again tomorrow, be positive and smile........................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted December 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Don't be negative Briggsy as you may feel good again tomorrow, be positive and smile........................ I doubt that very much - i'll be at work, plus i'll have to put up with you horrible lot on here again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 yeh, i ve been feelin bit like that recently mate, def talk to the doctor, it helps alot mate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSheehan Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 (edited) Its weird - today i've been really chirpy and had a bit of a sense of humour on me again, which is the first time in months, but tomorrow it'll be back to feeling s*** again. Try and figure out if there was anything/anyone that influenced your good mood today? Might help ya to be more positive with things in the future??? I bet even talking about your problems on this forum is helping you some bit no??? Edited December 22, 2008 by KSheehan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted December 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2008 Try and figure out if there was anything/anyone that influenced your good mood today? Might help ya to be more positive with things in the future??? I bet even talking about your problems on this forum is helping you some bit no??? To be honest, nothing has really been any different mate. Same old typical weekday at work really. Nothing different happened, and nothing happened over the weekend to make me feel any different. As for talking about it on the forum - I dunno really, I guess it helps me get things off my chest a bit so I can explain how I feel to people that don't know me, but apart from that, it doesn't really make much difference. It'll be interesting to see how tomorrow goes, but I dare say it'll be back to how i've been for the last couple of months. Every now and again, I have a good day for some reason, and then things go back to how they were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quadrant Posted December 23, 2008 Report Share Posted December 23, 2008 Well sirs perhaps I may be serious for at least one post. I, too, have used anti-depressants and once you get your head to accept you need help and want to get better, that is the first step. You need to take them for about 3 weeks before you notice any changes, but the most important thing I remember my doctor saying was not to stop taking them once you feel better, because otherwise you'll slip back to square one. They alter the chemistry of the brain in a positive way, so you should take them for the next 5-6 months even after when you feel you have crushed the depression forever, in order to disrupt the cycle. Good luck sir, and hope you make a speedy recovery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number2Fan Posted December 23, 2008 Report Share Posted December 23, 2008 All in favour I reckon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Brown Posted December 23, 2008 Report Share Posted December 23, 2008 Briggsy, are you unhappy in your job/ work mates? This could be the root of your depression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted December 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 (edited) Briggsy, are you unhappy in your job/ work mates? This could be the root of your depression. Ok, this is gonna be long, but its not very often I say how I really feel, but to be honest, I feel like I need to get things off my chest, so here goes - here's why I feel so s***). Sorry its sooooo long........... I've been at my workplace now for 13 years (same place ever since I left school). I'm close to being a qualified IT technician soon though, so hopefully, by around March, i'll be looking elsewhere. I don't see many of my mates now because they've either moved to other cities or even out of the country to work or settle down with partners, or they're under the thumb here in Coventry and never come out. On top of that, I have fairly big debts to pay off (I once owed £27,000, but through hard work, i've managed to get that down to around £12,000 now). I still live with my parents even though i'm 30 - simply because I cannot afford to move out because £60 of my monthly wage has to be paid out on paying off my debts. By the time i've paid to run my car, paid a couple of bills, etc, i'm left with very little to myself (less than £150 to be exact to last me a month). DJ'ing wise, I never seem to be able to get a gig because all I ever get offered is warm-up sets, even though my style is blatantly quite hard and pacey these days. They hear this style when they listen to my demo's, yet they ask me to play warm-ups. My dad's health also plays on my mind quite a bit too. He's not been in the best of health over the last 3 or 4 years due to diabetes related illnesses such as kidney failure (he's on home dialysis), plus 3 heart attacks. This time of year doesn't really help either because he almost died in hospital over christmas 2004 (he spent all over xmas and new year in hospital that year), and then in 2005, he also spent xmas day in hospital after suffering another heart attack. He's done remarkably well since then, but he still has a few off-days which can be worrying. On top of that, two weeks ago, I was told I had to take a £200 pay cut per month until further notice - or risk losing my job. And then there's relationships. I've not been in many relationships, but everytime I have, they've got to the three year mark and then we've split up. I was once with a girl who lived in Edinburgh for three years. We got engaged, and then as soon as that happened, reality kicked in that neither of us were in a position to move (she was training to be a teacher, and I couldn't leave my job because it was well paid and I had to clear a lot of debt) - so we split. Then there was another girl I was with for three years, until she cheated on me numerous times, and then we split too. When relationships get to the three year mark and then you split up, it makes you question yourself - and when you have no confidence too, it makes things worse. I'd been single for almost three years up til October (by choice) - and then I met a really nice girl that I clicked with right from day one. I wasn't looking for a relationship, but it kinda just happened. We started spending a lot of time together and something just felt so right about her. We got on great as friends, then as soon as we became "official", I became nervous, paranoid, and my confidence issues kicked in big time - and basically, it f***ed her off and forced her away. I'd fallen for her WAY too fast to be honest, but she was soooo nice, we had loads in common, and she was bloody stunning too. Far too good for me. Ok, a few other things went on which didn't really help my confidence so it wasn't quite all my fault that things ended up the way they did, but I got so paranoid and nervous that I scared her away - and now she hates me too because I said a few hurtful things. Its that which hurts the most because we could get on sooooo well and we did really enjoy each others company - and i've lost that forever now. In all honesty, I got on better with her than I have any other girl in my life because we had so much in common (she also DJ'ed too). I'd never believed in love at first sight - it always seemed quite sad and a load of old crap, but, and I know this is gonna sound sad, but it happened to me - I've no idea why because until I met her, I wasn't even looking for a relationship, and after my previous ex cheated, I swore I wouldn't get attached to someone very easily - yet somehow, it just happened. I seriously f***ed that up and its something I regret big time because something tells me that if my confidence and issues hadn't kicked in, we'd have been together for a very long time because until that point, we were very well suited and got on amazingly. So yeah, there's a lot of s*** gone on - and over a long period of time too - and some of it isn't going to change for a while yet either (ie, the debt situation). Thats why I don't really want to speak to anyone about my problems. I know what the problems are, and there aren't any quick fix solutions. I got myself in this state, and its up to me to sort it. The problem is, its gonna take at least another 2 and a half years to get to the biggest part of the problem - my debts. The other problem can't be cured - confidence. I've never had any, and never will. I hate the way I look, and nothing can ever change that. The only thing that can help me is something that will pick me up - and I feel the only answer is anti-depressants. If I could be debt free tomorrow, move into my own place, get things back to how they were in October with that girl I met, and I had a new job, then i'd be as happy as Larry - seriously, but in reality, its never gonna happen. The only one thats likely to happen in the near future is the new job. The rest carries on as it does now. Same s***, different day. Sorry about the long reply, I didn't really wanna go into details because I'm a kinda private person and keep myself to myself - but now you know why I feel so s***. There's only a handful of people that know about all this - the girl I met in October, a couple of 'select' mates that I feel I can trust, and you guys. I've only told you guys because you don't know me. Even my own parents don't know about my debts - somehow, i've managed to keep it to myself for over ten years! For years, I used to be able to put on a smily, happy front - even when I was as miserable as sin, I could make myself look happy and have people thinking i'm happy and enjoying life - but these days, I can't even hide it. Everyone has noticed how miserable i've looked for about the last 6 months. Edited December 24, 2008 by Briggsy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quadrant Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Let music be the saviour of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.